Dating Tips

Type: Single
Date: 2004

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Dating Tips

Intro
D    D/G      D/F#    D
D    D/G
F#m7People Often Ask Me - "Godforbid", They Say
                              N.c.
"You're Quite The Ladies Man, What's Your Secret?" (Heh Heh Heh...)
Well...

Chorus
F#       YG#mou Too Can Be SwBimming In Women!
C#6Afloat C#In SeF#as Of OvarieG#ms, But More ImpoBrtantly -   C#6​
C#Knowing Whether BF#ehind Those Pretty EyG#mes You Have A DiaBmond In The Rough (Ooh!C#6)
C#Or Colored CF#ontact Lenses And A RoG#mugh !%&@$* *$#%!@ NamBed Diamond      C#6       C#​

Verse 1
Let's F#Recreate The SceG#mne, Make Believe You're AtB A Table Seat TaC#6lking PlaC#yfully To F#The Waitress G#m​
At Your BLocal Place To Eat
C#6Way Beneath TheC# Apron, MaybellF#ine, Smell Of Eggs AG#mnd Cheese, Bacon GreaBse, She's A BabeC#6 - An 8 At C#Least
F#You Want To Push The PlG#mate Of Quesadillas OfBf The Table And SpC#6read Them AngC#el's Wings
F#But You Can't SG#may A Thing? (Hmm?)
B     If You Don't Do C#6Well With WC#omen, They Sell PrescF#ription Drugs On TelG#mevision
May BCause Loss Of AC#6ppetite, MC#alnutrF#ition; Dizzy SpeG#mlls And Different BellBs Were Ringing
C#6And That's Where IC# Come InF# And Give 'Em A Little ExtG#mra Help To Gem 'Em! B(Hey!)   C#6       C#​

Chorus
(You Can't F#Get) You See, Confidence IG#ms The Key When Entering AnBy Situation      C#6       C#​
(In Her F#Pants) We All Have InsecG#murities, So Why NoBt Build Your CoC#6nfidence On C#The
Insecurities Of Others?
(But You F#Don't)    G#m       HeBy, She's Gonna !&C#6*%$@ SomC#ebody
(Give A F#Damn) So WG#mhy Not YoBu?     C#6       C#​

Verse 2
F#The Drunker You Are, The EG#masier It Is To Get LaBid, But The HaC#6rder It Is C#To @$&@$*
F#You May Have To PG#micture What It IsB This Month
C#6Whoever You've BC#een Thinking Of - ThF#e Girl At The PizG#mza Hut, Midgets, NunsB,
Whatever C#6Little Miss IC#t Was
And F#With A Little Hard Work, AG#m Little Luck, If You HaBven't Given Up,
Maybe C#6You Can Get C#It Up!
F#Now A !$@% Is SG#mupposed To Be Fun - InBstant GratificaC#6tion, A RolC#lercoaster
F#But No One Wants To GG#met Stuck Over And OvBer Going HoC#6me To The RolC#lercoaster
F#   It's Hard To WG#match Your ShBows And Do Your HoC#6mework
C#And When TF#he Ride You Rode Is OvG#mer, It'll Cost MorBe Than A RolC#6l Of QuarC#ters

Chorus
(You Can't F#Get) So Pull Out -G#m      I KnBow How Warm And GoC#6od It FeeC#ls,
(In Her F#Pants) But It's Getting CG#mrowded 'Round Here - PlBease, PuC#6ll OutC#​
(But You F#Don't) If It's Not The OG#mne You Want To Stay With, YBou Can Avoid The
C#6Face     C#​
(Give A F#Damn) But Not The Abbreviation Taking PG#mayments From Your PaBycheck
You Can Do It, C#6Pull Out   C#​

Verse 3
F#Men Have What I CG#mall A Columbus CoBmplex
Other C#6People May Have BC#een There, F#But We Still Want To FeeG#ml Like We DiscoveBred It
C#6So Don't Tell TC#he Number That You DoF#ne It With Your SumG#mmers In Columbia WhenB You
Were Young And C#6Did A Bunch Of DC#umber @$*!
F#   Rambunctious KG#mids, Wait For The SeBcond Date To CuC#6ff The WriC#sts
F#Sponges, Rubber GG#mloves, And Whips, OBven Mitts
C#6Now, A Well TC#rimmed PersoF#nal Area - That's NicG#me, But Why's She BSo Ready?
C#6You Don't SupC#pose That ShF#e Never Knows WheG#mn She Might ShowB Somebody?
C#6Now Think C#Of That BefoF#re You Go SteG#mady Or Maybe At YBour Own WeddC#6ing        C#​

Chorus
(You Can't F#Get) If She's Your Girlfriend, LG#meave Her Alone With Your FrBiends      C#6       C#​
(In Her F#Pants) Now, I Don't Expect No Virgin, But Let 'Em TG#mry To Screw Her
If She's BFlirting Or She C#6@$%*&! @#!C#%&*, Then It Won't Work Man
(But You F#Don't) Get Rid Of Her And GG#met Yourself A NeBw Girlfriend       C#6       C#​
(Give A F#Damn) Remember The Currency Exchange Rate -
G#mAt This Party She's An 8B, At The Club AC#6 7     C#​
At F#My Apartment A 10; EG#mnviroment DictBates
The C#6Morning After, SC#he May SlF#ip To A 3
G#m'Cause Some Things Are BBetter Just To LC#6ust ForC#​

Outro
(This ConF#cludes The Introductory SG#megment Of The GodforbiBd Self-Help CollectC#6ion)   C#​
Hey, F#Sleep With Other Races!G#m Help Out InBternational RelaC#6tions! C#​
(F#For Further Behavioural IG#mnstructions, Consult ThBe Nearest Strip Club AnC#6d/Or LiqC#uor Store;
F#  Thank You,G#m And Enjoy YoBurself)    C#6       C#​
F#If It's Not The OG#mne You Want, JuBst Let It GoC#6       C#​
F#If It's Not The OG#mne You Want, JuBst Let It GoC#6       C#​
F#If It's Not The OG#mne You Want, JuBst Let It GoC#6       C#​
F#If It's Not The OG#mne You Want, JuBst Let It GoC#6...    C#​