The Robots Vs Mrs Patel

Intro
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Verse 1
The GYear Was 2020, And The CHumans Weren’t Doing SoG Well
For EmInstance DTake The CInteresting Case OfD Mrs. Anjuli Patel
She GWorked At The Easyday Supermarket, Which CGave Her No Special EGnjoyment
It Was EmNot A Good DJob, But CIt Was A Job, And She Was Grateful ToD Have The EmGployment

It Was A GWednesday But To Mrs. Patel It Was A CWorkday Just Like AnyG Other
She Was PreEmoccupied DThinking Of CHow She Felt Guilty About NotD Spending Time With Her Mother
When She GArrived At Her Workplace She Stopped At The Sight Of CSomething That Glittered AndG Gleamed
In EmPlace Of Her DUsual CRegister Was A Shining SelfD-Checkout MaGchine

Then EmOut Of Her Normally BWell-Mannered Mouth Came Words Like Fucking And EmHell
And DThat Was The Start Of The GTerrible CTale Of The Robots Versus Mrs PDatel
Of The DRobots Versus Mrs PaGtel

Interlude
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Verse 2
Well Her GBoss Was A Pencil Moustache With A Pulse, His Eyes Traveled CSouth Like Vasco DaG Gama
And He EmLeered And He DJeered And He CSaid With A Sneer “Mrs P, Let’s Not Have AnyD Drama,
This Is GSecure Checkout Auto-Bot 1000, Scab C1000 If You PrGefer
You’ll Be EmTraining Our DCustomers To CUse It, And Dealing With ProblemsD That May OcGcur”

Now GMrs. Patel Thought Of Strangling Him With The CLanyard That Held HerG Id Card
But She EmNeeded The DWork Even CMore Since Her Husband Lost His Job As A SecurityD Guard
And She Was GSpending Her Evenings In Night School, Learning CCoding And ProgrammingG Skills
One EmDay Soon DEnough, She CThought To Herself, I’ll Get Off This WageD Slavery TreaGdmill

So She EmOpened Scab 1000’S BManual To Page One, And Thought To EmHerself:
We’ll DSee Who Will GWin In This CBattle I Call The Robots Vs. Mrs. PDatel

The DRobots Vs. Mrs. PaGtel

Interlude
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Verse 3
Helping GCustomers Learn How To Use The Machines With CWhich They Would Soon Be ReGplaced
Was An EmIrony DFrom Which CMrs Patel And Her Colleagues Found They Just Could Not EsDcape
Some Plotted GSabotage, Some Dreamed Of A Union, But CMrs Patel Knew TheG Truth
When EmRobots And DBosses CFind Common Causes There Is Nothing PoorD Workers CanG Do

Or GThat’s What She Thought Until One Fateful Evening In Her CLate-Night Advanced CodingG Class
When She EmLearned About DStrategies CKnown To The Nerds As Adversarial AtDtacks
So She GCoded A Way To Trick The Machines To Check Out CItems That Didn’t ExGist
And To EmCharge The Fake DShopping To Her CBoss’s Account Before HeD Knew What He’dG Missed

A Little EmAlgorithm Helped Her BBankrupt The System And The Rest Of The Franchise As EmWell
And In A DWay You Could GSay That The CRobots Joined Forces With The Hero Called Mrs PDatel
The DHero Called Mrs PaGtel

Interlude
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Outro
Now She’s ReGvered As A Binary Robin Hood ThroughCout The SubcontiGnent
The EmWorkers All DDance In CCapital’s Ashes And Sing Of Her AccomplisDhments
And GShe And Her Team Of Rebellious Machines Are RCedistributing TheG Wealth
All You EmBosses And DBankers Had CBetter Beware Of The Robots And MrsD Patel
The CRobots And Mrs PGatel