The Robots Vs Mrs Patel

Intro
A E B C

Verse 1
The CYear Was 2020, And The FHumans Weren’t Doing SoC Well
For AmInstance GTake The FInteresting Case OfG Mrs. Anjuli Patel
She CWorked At The Easyday Supermarket, Which FGave Her No Special ECnjoyment
It Was AmNot A Good GJob, But FIt Was A Job, And She Was Grateful ToG Have The EmCployment

It Was A CWednesday But To Mrs. Patel It Was A FWorkday Just Like AnyC Other
She Was PreAmoccupied GThinking Of FHow She Felt Guilty About NotG Spending Time With Her Mother
When She CArrived At Her Workplace She Stopped At The Sight Of FSomething That Glittered AndC Gleamed
In AmPlace Of Her GUsual FRegister Was A Shining SelfG-Checkout MaCchine

Then AmOut Of Her Normally EWell-Mannered Mouth Came Words Like Fucking And AmHell
And GThat Was The Start Of The CTerrible FTale Of The Robots Versus Mrs PGatel
Of The GRobots Versus Mrs PaCtel

Interlude
A E B C

Verse 2
Well Her CBoss Was A Pencil Moustache With A Pulse, His Eyes Traveled FSouth Like Vasco DaC Gama
And He AmLeered And He GJeered And He FSaid With A Sneer “Mrs P, Let’s Not Have AnyG Drama,
This Is CSecure Checkout Auto-Bot 1000, Scab F1000 If You PrCefer
You’ll Be AmTraining Our GCustomers To FUse It, And Dealing With ProblemsG That May OcCcur”

Now CMrs. Patel Thought Of Strangling Him With The FLanyard That Held HerC Id Card
But She AmNeeded The GWork Even FMore Since Her Husband Lost His Job As A SecurityG Guard
And She Was CSpending Her Evenings In Night School, Learning FCoding And ProgrammingC Skills
One AmDay Soon GEnough, She FThought To Herself, I’ll Get Off This WageG Slavery TreaCdmill

So She AmOpened Scab 1000’S EManual To Page One, And Thought To AmHerself:
We’ll GSee Who Will CWin In This FBattle I Call The Robots Vs. Mrs. PGatel

The GRobots Vs. Mrs. PaCtel

Interlude
A E B C

Verse 3
Helping CCustomers Learn How To Use The Machines With FWhich They Would Soon Be ReCplaced
Was An AmIrony GFrom Which FMrs Patel And Her Colleagues Found They Just Could Not EsGcape
Some Plotted CSabotage, Some Dreamed Of A Union, But FMrs Patel Knew TheC Truth
When AmRobots And GBosses FFind Common Causes There Is Nothing PoorG Workers CanC Do

Or CThat’s What She Thought Until One Fateful Evening In Her FLate-Night Advanced CodingC Class
When She AmLearned About GStrategies FKnown To The Nerds As Adversarial AtGtacks
So She CCoded A Way To Trick The Machines To Check Out FItems That Didn’t ExCist
And To AmCharge The Fake GShopping To Her FBoss’s Account Before HeG Knew What He’dC Missed

A Little AmAlgorithm Helped Her EBankrupt The System And The Rest Of The Franchise As AmWell
And In A GWay You Could CSay That The FRobots Joined Forces With The Hero Called Mrs PGatel
The GHero Called Mrs PaCtel

Interlude
A E B C

Outro
Now She’s ReCvered As A Binary Robin Hood ThroughFout The SubcontiCnent
The AmWorkers All GDance In FCapital’s Ashes And Sing Of Her AccomplisGhments
And CShe And Her Team Of Rebellious Machines Are RFedistributing TheC Wealth
All You AmBosses And GBankers Had FBetter Beware Of The Robots And MrsG Patel
The FRobots And Mrs PCatel