Chorus
Oh, Dear, What Can The Matter Be?
Seven Old Ladies Were Stuck In The Lavatory;
They Were There From Monday 'Til Saturday,
And Nobody Knew They Were There.
Verse
The First Old Lady Was Elizabeth Porter;
She Was The Deacon Of Dorchester's Daughter.
She Pulled On The Chain And The Rising Tide Caught Her
And Nobody Knew She Was There.
Chorus
Oh, Dear, What Can The Matter Be?
Seven Old Ladies Were Stuck In The Lavatory;
They Were There From Monday 'Til Saturday,
And Nobody Knew They Were There.
Verse
The Next To Come In Was Penolpe Pimm
She Came In On A Personal Whim
But She Got Her Ass Stuck Twit The Bowl And The Rim
And Notbody Knew She Was There
Chorus
Oh, Dear, What Can The Matter Be?
Seven Old Ladies Were Stuck In The Lavatory;
They Were There From Monday 'Til Saturday,
And Nobody Knew They Were There.
Verse
The Third To Come In, It Was Old Mrs. Draper
She Sat Herself Down, And Then Found There Was No Paper
She Had To Clean Up With A Bricklayer’s Scraper
And Nobody Knew She Was There
Chorus
Oh, Dear, What Can The Matter Be?
Seven Old Ladies Were Stuck In The Lavatory;
They Were There From Monday 'Til Saturday,
And Nobody Knew They Were There.
Verse
The Next Old Lady Was Betty-Ann Brewster
She Sat On The Handle And She Thought Someone Goosed Her
She Said “Oh My God, This Don’t Feel Like It Use’ter”
And Nobody Knew She Was There
Chorus
Oh, Dear, What Can The Matter Be?
Seven Old Ladies Were Stuck In The Lavatory;
They Were There From Monday 'Til Saturday,
And Nobody Knew They Were There.
Verse
The Fifth To Come Was Old Mrs. Humphrey
She Shifted And Jiggled To Get Herself Comfy
Then To Her Dismay, She Could Not Get Her Bum Free
And Nobody Knew She Was There
Chorus
Oh, Dear, What Can The Matter Be?
Seven Old Ladies Were Stuck In The Lavatory;
They Were There From Monday 'Til Saturday,
And Nobody Knew They Were There.
Verse
The Sixth Old Lady Was Old Mrs Bartlet
She Poped In The Quarter, To The Washroom She Started
What A Waste Of A Quarter, ‘Cause She Only Farted
And Nobody Knew She Was There
Chorus
Oh, Dear, What Can The Matter Be?
Seven Old Ladies Were Stuck In The Lavatory;
They Were There From Monday 'Til Saturday,
And Nobody Knew They Were There.
Verse
The Last To Come In Was Dear Mrs. Mason
The Stalls Were All Full So She Pissed In The Basin
And That Is The Water That I Washed My Face In
Cause I Didn’t Know She Was There.
Chorus
Oh, Dear, What Can The Matter Be?
Seven Old Ladies Were Stuck In The Lavatory;
They Were There From Monday 'Til Saturday,
And Nobody Knew They Were There.
Outro
The Janitor Came In The Early Morning.
He Opened The Door Without Any Warning,
The Seven Old Ladies Their Seats Were Adorning,
And Nobody Knew They Were There.
