Dating Tips

Type: Single
Date: 2004

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Dating Tips

Intro
A    A/D      A/C#    A
A    A/D
C#m7People Often Ask Me - "Godforbid", They Say
                              N.c.
"You're Quite The Ladies Man, What's Your Secret?" (Heh Heh Heh...)
Well...

Chorus
C#       YD#mou Too Can Be SwF#imming In Women!
G#6Afloat G#In SeC#as Of OvarieD#ms, But More ImpoF#rtantly -    G#6​
G#Knowing Whether BC#ehind Those Pretty EyD#mes You Have A DiaF#mond In The Rough (Ooh!)G#6​
G#Or Colored CC#ontact Lenses And A RoD#mugh !%&@$* *$#%!@ NamF#ed Diamond       G#6       G#​

Verse 1
Let's C#Recreate The SceD#mne, Make Believe You're AtF# A Table Seat TalG#6king PlayG#fully To TC#he Waitress  D#m​
At Your F#Local Place To Eat
G#6Way Beneath TheG# Apron, MaybellC#ine, Smell Of Eggs AD#mnd Cheese, Bacon GreaF#se, She's A Babe G#6- An 8 At LG#east
C#You Want To Push The PlD#mate Of Quesadillas OfF#f The Table And SprG#6ead Them AngeG#l's Wings
C#But You Can't SD#may A Thing? (Hmm?)
F#     If You Don't Do WG#6ell With WoG#men, They Sell PrescrC#iption Drugs On TeleD#mvision
May F#Cause Loss Of ApG#6petite, MaG#lnutriC#tion; Dizzy SpelD#mls And Different BellsF# Were Ringing
G#6And That's Where IG# Come InC# And Give 'Em A Little ExtD#mra Help To Gem 'Em! F#(Hey!)    G#6       G#​

Chorus
(You Can't C#Get) You See, Confidence ID#ms The Key When Entering AnF#y Situation       G#6       G#​
(In Her C#Pants) We All Have InsecD#murities, So Why NoF#t Build Your ConG#6fidence On TG#he
Insecurities Of Others?
(But You C#Don't)    D#m       HeF#y, She's Gonna !&*G#6%$@ SomeG#body
(Give A C#Damn) So WD#mhy Not YoF#u?      G#6       G#​

Verse 2
C#The Drunker You Are, The ED#masier It Is To Get LaF#id, But The HarG#6der It Is TG#o @$&@$*
C#You May Have To PD#micture What It IsF# This Month
G#6Whoever You've BG#een Thinking Of - ThC#e Girl At The PizD#mza Hut, Midgets, NunsF#,
Whatever G#6Little Miss IG#t Was
And C#With A Little Hard Work, AD#m Little Luck, If You HaF#ven't Given Up,
Maybe G#6You Can Get G#It Up!
C#Now A !$@% Is SD#mupposed To Be Fun - InF#stant GratificatG#6ion, A RollG#ercoaster
C#But No One Wants To GD#met Stuck Over And OvF#er Going HomG#6e To The RollG#ercoaster
C#   It's Hard To WD#match Your ShF#ows And Do Your HomG#6ework
G#And When TC#he Ride You Rode Is OvD#mer, It'll Cost MorF#e Than A RollG#6 Of QuartG#ers

Chorus
(You Can't C#Get) So Pull Out -D#m      I KnF#ow How Warm And GooG#6d It FeelG#s,
(In Her C#Pants) But It's Getting CD#mrowded 'Round Here - PlF#ease, PulG#6l Out G#​
(But You C#Don't) If It's Not The OD#mne You Want To Stay With, YF#ou Can Avoid The
G#6Face     G#​
(Give A C#Damn) But Not The Abbreviation Taking PD#mayments From Your PaF#ycheck
You Can Do It, G#6Pull Out   G#​

Verse 3
C#Men Have What I CD#mall A Columbus CoF#mplex
Other G#6People May Have BG#een There, C#But We Still Want To FeeD#ml Like We DiscoveF#red It
G#6So Don't Tell TG#he Number That You DoC#ne It With Your SumD#mmers In Columbia WhenF# You
Were Young And G#6Did A Bunch Of DG#umber @$*!
C#   Rambunctious KD#mids, Wait For The SeF#cond Date To CufG#6f The WrisG#ts
C#Sponges, Rubber GD#mloves, And Whips, OF#ven Mitts
G#6Now, A Well TG#rimmed PersoC#nal Area - That's NicD#me, But Why's She F#So Ready?
G#6You Don't SupG#pose That ShC#e Never Knows WheD#mn She Might ShowF# Somebody?
G#6Now Think G#Of That BefoC#re You Go SteD#mady Or Maybe At YF#our Own WeddiG#6ng         G#​

Chorus
(You Can't C#Get) If She's Your Girlfriend, LD#meave Her Alone With Your FrF#iends       G#6       G#​
(In Her C#Pants) Now, I Don't Expect No Virgin, But Let 'Em TD#mry To Screw Her
If She's F#Flirting Or She @G#6$%*&! @#!%G#&*, Then It Won't Work Man
(But You C#Don't) Get Rid Of Her And GD#met Yourself A NeF#w Girlfriend        G#6       G#​
(Give A C#Damn) Remember The Currency Exchange Rate -
D#mAt This Party She's An 8F#, At The Club A G#67      G#​
At C#My Apartment A 10; ED#mnviroment DictF#ates
The G#6Morning After, SG#he May SlC#ip To A 3
D#m'Cause Some Things Are BF#etter Just To LuG#6st For G#​

Outro
(This ConC#cludes The Introductory SD#megment Of The GodforbiF#d Self-Help CollectiG#6on)    G#​
Hey, C#Sleep With Other Races!D#m Help Out InF#ternational RelatG#6ions!  G#​
(C#For Further Behavioural ID#mnstructions, Consult ThF#e Nearest Strip Club AndG#6/Or LiquG#or Store;
C#  Thank You,D#m And Enjoy YoF#urself)     G#6       G#​
C#If It's Not The OD#mne You Want, JuF#st Let It Go G#6       G#​
C#If It's Not The OD#mne You Want, JuF#st Let It Go G#6       G#​
C#If It's Not The OD#mne You Want, JuF#st Let It Go G#6       G#​
C#If It's Not The OD#mne You Want, JuF#st Let It Go.G#6..     G#​