Verse 1Mother-In-Law, Empties Out The CompostOnto Her Cashmere RugFather-In-Law, Wraps It Around HimAnd Welcomes Us Home With A HugChorusThey Host Us TonightThey Host Brain ParasitesI Won't Drink The WaterOr Play Card Games With Them At NightVerse 2Brother-In-Law, Stumbles Down The StaircaseHead Splits In Two On The RailSister-In-Law, Wipes With A DishragAnd Wrings It Out Into A PailChorusThey Toast To His LifeThey Toast Up A SliceA Flabby Flesh SampleWashed Down With More ParasitesVerse 3Family-In-Law, Holding Hands And ChantingConjure Ancestors-In-LawAncestors-In-Law, Spirits Possess MeI Speak As Their Late GrandpaChorusHis Ghost InsideHis Ghost ProvidesA Full-Course Home-Cooked MealServed To My In-Laws With PrideAnd Me, I Just Cried
