When It Comes To Hitchin' The Boat UpBackin' Down The Ramp In My Old TruckTo Find A Bunch Of LogsTo Catch A Bunch Of HogsYeah, I Wrote The BookYeah, I Wrote The BookIf You Wanna Learn To Throw A Curve RightTo Catch A Clean UpLookin' On A Third StrikeTalk A Little Smack While He's Walkin' BackYeah, I Wrote The BookReff :But There's One That LaysBy The Lamp On The NightstandOne That Says Don't Cuss And Don't Fight..Or Let The BottleTurn You Into A Different ManBut Damn If I Don't Do ItEvery Friday NightThose Get You Into Heaven Letters In RedAin't Gettin' Read EnoughTo Keep Me On A Straight LineI'm A Jack Of All TradesBut Man I Gotta SayThat's One Book I Didn't WriteI Met A Good Girl She Had Her Life StraightShe Said She LovedThat I Was Good At Everythin'One Day She Left Me In A Cloud Of DustCause I Never Was Too Good At Pickin' Up..Reff :The One That LaysBy The Lamp On The NightstandOne That Says Don't Cuss And Don't Fight..Or Let The BottleTurn You Into A Different ManBut Damn If I Don't Do ItEvery Friday NightThose Get You Into Heaven Letters In RedAin't Gettin' Read EnoughTo Keep Me On A Straight LineI'm A Jack Of All TradesBut Man I Gotta SayThat's One Book I Didn't WriteYeah, The Good Lord Knows I Need ItI Didn't Write ItBut I Probably Oughta Read It..Reff :The One That LaysBy The Lamp On The NightstandOne That Says Don't Cuss And Don't Fight..Or Let The BottleTurn You Into A Different ManBut Damn If I Don't Do ItEvery Friday NightThose Get You Into Heaven Letters In RedAin't Gettin' Read EnoughTo Keep Me On A Straight LineI'm A Jack Of All TradesBut Man I Gotta SayThat's One Book I Didn't WriteThat's One Book I Didn't Write..That's One Book I Didn't Write