Verse 1I'm Callin' Out Flat-EarthersBut Not With The Typical Missives They Hit You WithI Got A Gripe With The Group But Unlike All Of YouI Am Irked By Their Lack Of Initiative'Cause There's Mountains Of Evidence That Help Make It ClearThat Our Planet's A Shape And That Shape Is A SphereAnd I Fear That Insisting We've Already WonWill Prevent Us From Doing What's Yet To Be Done'Cause I Have A Dream And I Need You To Get With ItEarth Isn't Flat And If You, Too, Are Sick Of ItChorusJoin Us, Help Us, Spread Thin And Overwhelmed ButThe Earth Isn't Flat Yet And Damn Does That Compel UsWhen There's No Way, Here's Our Will:We Won't Die On This HillWe're Not Flat-Earthers... We're Earth-FlattenersWe'll Get Much Further Than That Tin Foil Hat Of YoursWe Work All Day To Achieve The Great FlatteningA Pancake Shape Is A Bit More... Flattering!Verse 2There's No Subscription Fee, Neither Monthly Nor AnnualJust One Flat Rate And We'll Hand You The ManualWe'll Start With The Mountains 'Cause How Could We NotWhen The Low-Hanging Fruit Is The Highest Of RocksOnce We're Smooth As A Cue Ball We'll Need To Start KneadingThen Plan The Next Steps At Our Quarterly Meeting'Cause I Have A Dream And Now You're In The Thick Of ItEarth Isn't Flat And We're All Just Plain Sick Of ItChorusJoin Us, Help Us, Make Coins And Coasters JealousThe Earth Isn't Flat (Yeah, You Do Not Have To Tell Us)When There's No Way, Here's Our Will:We Won't Die On This HillWe Work All Day To Achieve The Great Flattening'Cause A Pancake Shape Is A Bit More... What Was It? Flattering!Verse 3Alright, First Meeting's In Session, Let's Do A Role CallWe Don't Actually Use The Word "Roll" Here, It's A Little Too... SphericalAlright But We Gotta Have A NameI'm Thinking Ball Busters The Way We're Bustin' This BallWe Gotta Have A Motto, Let Me Think, How 'Bout: One Side Fits All!Let's Pray To Smother Earth And Find Our Worth With F'in E'sNow Let's Get To Work And Pound The Dirt And See Who Still Believes In Flattering!BridgeAnd Faith Can Move Mountains But Damn, When I'm Done With 'EmMoles Will Look Down On The Ground That's Become Of 'EmSome Of Your Dreams Might Be Better ForgottenBut If You're Like Me And That's Never An Option...OutroJoin Us, Help Us, We Employ The OverzealousThe Earth Isn't Flat But Our Dream Is Parallel-LessHead To China, Grab Your Chisel, I Will Meet You In The MiddleWe're Not Flat-Earthers, We're Earth-Flatteners...And I Had A Dream, But Whether It's HappeningYou All Believed And Damn Is It Flattering
