IntroVerse 1The Year Was 2020, And The Humans Weren’t Doing So WellFor Instance Take The Interesting Case Of Mrs. Anjuli PatelShe Worked At The Easyday Supermarket, Which Gave Her No Special EnjoymentIt Was Not A Good Job, But It Was A Job, And She Was Grateful To Have The EmploymentIt Was A Wednesday But To Mrs. Patel It Was A Workday Just Like Any OtherShe Was Preoccupied Thinking Of How She Felt Guilty About Not Spending Time With Her MotherWhen She Arrived At Her Workplace She Stopped At The Sight Of Something That Glittered And GleamedIn Place Of Her Usual Register Was A Shining Self-Checkout MachineThen Out Of Her Normally Well-Mannered Mouth Came Words Like Fucking And HellAnd That Was The Start Of The Terrible Tale Of The Robots Versus Mrs PatelOf The Robots Versus Mrs PatelInterludeVerse 2Well Her Boss Was A Pencil Moustache With A Pulse, His Eyes Traveled South Like Vasco Da GamaAnd He Leered And He Jeered And He Said With A Sneer “Mrs P, Let’s Not Have Any Drama,This Is Secure Checkout Auto-Bot 1000, Scab 1000 If You PreferYou’ll Be Training Our Customers To Use It, And Dealing With Problems That May Occur”Now Mrs. Patel Thought Of Strangling Him With The Lanyard That Held Her Id CardBut She Needed The Work Even More Since Her Husband Lost His Job As A Security GuardAnd She Was Spending Her Evenings In Night School, Learning Coding And Programming SkillsOne Day Soon Enough, She Thought To Herself, I’ll Get Off This Wage Slavery TreadmillSo She Opened Scab 1000’S Manual To Page One, And Thought To Herself:We’ll See Who Will Win In This Battle I Call The Robots Vs. Mrs. PatelThe Robots Vs. Mrs. PatelInterludeVerse 3Helping Customers Learn How To Use The Machines With Which They Would Soon Be ReplacedWas An Irony From Which Mrs Patel And Her Colleagues Found They Just Could Not EscapeSome Plotted Sabotage, Some Dreamed Of A Union, But Mrs Patel Knew The TruthWhen Robots And Bosses Find Common Causes There Is Nothing Poor Workers Can DoOr That’s What She Thought Until One Fateful Evening In Her Late-Night Advanced Coding ClassWhen She Learned About Strategies Known To The Nerds As Adversarial AttacksSo She Coded A Way To Trick The Machines To Check Out Items That Didn’t ExistAnd To Charge The Fake Shopping To Her Boss’s Account Before He Knew What He’d MissedA Little Algorithm Helped Her Bankrupt The System And The Rest Of The Franchise As WellAnd In A Way You Could Say That The Robots Joined Forces With The Hero Called Mrs PatelThe Hero Called Mrs PatelInterludeOutroNow She’s Revered As A Binary Robin Hood Throughout The SubcontinentThe Workers All Dance In Capital’s Ashes And Sing Of Her AccomplishmentsAnd She And Her Team Of Rebellious Machines Are Redistributing The WealthAll You Bosses And Bankers Had Better Beware Of The Robots And Mrs PatelThe Robots And Mrs Patel
