Dating Tips

Type: Single
Date: 2004

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Dating Tips

Intro
G    G/C      G/B    G
G    G/C
Bm7People Often Ask Me - "Godforbid", They Say
                              N.c.
"You're Quite The Ladies Man, What's Your Secret?" (Heh Heh Heh...)
Well...

Chorus
B       C#mYou Too Can Be SEwimming In Women!
F#6Afloat F#In SeBas Of OvariC#mes, But More ImpEortantly -  F#6​
F#Knowing Whether BBehind Those Pretty EC#myes You Have A DiEamond In The Rough (OohF#6!)
F#Or Colored CBontact Lenses And A RC#mough !%&@$* *$#%!@ NaEmed Diamond     F#6       F#​

Verse 1
Let's BRecreate The ScC#mene, Make Believe You're AEt A Table Seat TF#6alking PlF#ayfully ToB The WaitresC#ms
At Your ELocal Place To Eat
F#6Way Beneath TheF# Apron, MaybellBine, Smell Of Eggs C#mAnd Cheese, Bacon GreEase, She's A BabF#6e - An 8 AtF# Least
BYou Want To Push The PC#mlate Of Quesadillas OEff The Table And SF#6pread Them AnF#gel's Wings
BBut You Can't C#mSay A Thing? (Hmm?)
E     If You Don't Do F#6Well With WF#omen, They Sell PrescBription Drugs On TeC#mlevision
May ECause Loss Of AF#6ppetite, MF#alnutrBition; Dizzy SpC#mells And Different BelEls Were Ringing
F#6And That's Where IF# Come InB And Give 'Em A Little ExC#mtra Help To Gem 'Em!E (Hey!)  F#6       F#​

Chorus
(You Can't BGet) You See, Confidence C#mIs The Key When Entering AEny Situation     F#6       F#​
(In Her BPants) We All Have InseC#mcurities, So Why NEot Build Your CF#6onfidence OnF# The
Insecurities Of Others?
(But You BDon't)   C#m        HEey, She's Gonna !F#6&*%$@ SoF#mebody
(Give A BDamn) So C#mWhy Not YEou?    F#6       F#​

Verse 2
BThe Drunker You Are, The C#mEasier It Is To Get LEaid, But The HF#6arder It IsF# To @$&@$*
BYou May Have To C#mPicture What It IEs This Month
F#6Whoever You've BF#een Thinking Of - ThBe Girl At The PiC#mzza Hut, Midgets, NunEs,
Whatever F#6Little Miss IF#t Was
And BWith A Little Hard Work, C#mA Little Luck, If You HEaven't Given Up,
Maybe F#6You Can Get F#It Up!
BNow A !$@% Is C#mSupposed To Be Fun - IEnstant GratificF#6ation, A RoF#llercoaster
BBut No One Wants To C#mGet Stuck Over And OEver Going HF#6ome To The RoF#llercoaster
B   It's Hard To C#mWatch Your SEhows And Do Your HF#6omework
F#And When TBhe Ride You Rode Is OC#mver, It'll Cost MoEre Than A RoF#6ll Of QuaF#rters

Chorus
(You Can't BGet) So Pull Out C#m-      I KEnow How Warm And GF#6ood It FeF#els,
(In Her BPants) But It's Getting C#mCrowded 'Round Here - PElease, PF#6ull OuF#t
(But You BDon't) If It's Not The C#mOne You Want To Stay With, EYou Can Avoid The
F#6Face     F#​
(Give A BDamn) But Not The Abbreviation Taking C#mPayments From Your PEaycheck
You Can Do It, F#6Pull Out   F#​

Verse 3
BMen Have What I C#mCall A Columbus CEomplex
Other F#6People May Have BF#een There, BBut We Still Want To FeC#mel Like We DiscovEered It
F#6So Don't Tell TF#he Number That You DoBne It With Your SuC#mmmers In Columbia WheEn You
Were Young And F#6Did A Bunch Of DF#umber @$*!
B   Rambunctious C#mKids, Wait For The SEecond Date To CF#6uff The WrF#ists
BSponges, Rubber C#mGloves, And Whips, EOven Mitts
F#6Now, A Well TF#rimmed PersoBnal Area - That's NiC#mce, But Why's SheE So Ready?
F#6You Don't SupF#pose That ShBe Never Knows WhC#men She Might ShoEw Somebody?
F#6Now Think F#Of That BefoBre You Go StC#meady Or Maybe At EYour Own WedF#6ding       F#​

Chorus
(You Can't BGet) If She's Your Girlfriend, C#mLeave Her Alone With Your FEriends     F#6       F#​
(In Her BPants) Now, I Don't Expect No Virgin, But Let 'Em C#mTry To Screw Her
If She's EFlirting Or She F#6@$%*&! @#!F#%&*, Then It Won't Work Man
(But You BDon't) Get Rid Of Her And C#mGet Yourself A NEew Girlfriend      F#6       F#​
(Give A BDamn) Remember The Currency Exchange Rate -
C#mAt This Party She's An 8E, At The Club AF#6 7     F#​
At BMy Apartment A 10; C#mEnviroment DicEtates
The F#6Morning After, SF#he May SlBip To A 3
C#m'Cause Some Things Are BEetter Just To LF#6ust ForF#​

Outro
(This ConBcludes The Introductory C#mSegment Of The GodforbEid Self-Help CollecF#6tion)  F#​
Hey, BSleep With Other RacesC#m! Help Out IEnternational RelF#6ations!F#​
(BFor Further Behavioural C#mInstructions, Consult TEhe Nearest Strip Club AF#6nd/Or LiF#quor Store;
B  Thank YouC#m, And Enjoy YEourself)   F#6       F#​
BIf It's Not The C#mOne You Want, JEust Let It GF#6o      F#​
BIf It's Not The C#mOne You Want, JEust Let It GF#6o      F#​
BIf It's Not The C#mOne You Want, JEust Let It GF#6o      F#​
BIf It's Not The C#mOne You Want, JEust Let It GF#6o...   F#​