Single Released September 4, 2026
Verse 1
Well, If I Was Gonna Stage A Coup In An Upcoming Election
What Exactly Would I Do To Safeguard My Protection?
I Think I'd Build Myself A Great Big Room With Some Strategic Placement
I'd Put Guided Missiles On The Roof And Data Centers In The Basement
In Case They Try To Send The Troops When I Perform My Little Coup
I'd Need A Private Army To Be Present When I Stage It
From There, It's Not Too Difficult, So Let's Not Over Complicate It
I'll Just Need A Couple Working Years Of Solid Degradation
And I'll See How Far My Party Goes Along Before They Question
I'll See How Many Citizens Can Die With No Arrests
I'll Stress Test The Balances And The Checks Of The Constitution
Before I Stage My Little Insiders Only Revolution
Verse 2
And If I Was Gonna Stage A Coup In 2028
I Think I'd Set Up A Crypto Coin Through My Family's Estate
And I'd Take Billions In Contributions From Foreign Heads Of State
I'd Take Qatari Jets And Make 3,000 Insider Trades
And Then I'd Have My Sons Invest In Ai Tech For Guided Drones And Bombing
And Start A Peace In The Middle East And Let The Drone Start Data Farming
Verse 3
And If I Was Gonna Stage A Coup, I'd Nationalize Elections
And I'd Tell The People I'm Doing All Of This For Their Own Protection
And I Wouldn't Leave The White House When The Final Ballot's Cast
And When The Election Has Been Certified, I'd Sit My Happy Ass Inside
My Brand New Spanking Ballroom Built To Withstand Any Strike
And I'd Have My Private Army Ready With Me Day And Night
And I'd Call The Congress Compromised, I'd Say The Court's Been Jeopardized
And Once The Country's Paralyzed, I'd Institute The Reich
Verse 4
Well, If I Was Gonna Stage A Coup To Satisfy My Ego
I Guess I'd Dress Up As Jesus Christ And Try To Play The Hero
And I'd Tell The World To Be Afraid Of All Their Friends And Neighbors
And Just Like Jesus Taught Us, I Would Punish Those Who Waver
Verse 5
And If I Was Gonna Stage A Coup, I'd Prop Up Jd Vance
And Once His Campaign Starts To Lose, That's When I'd Have My Chance
I'd Say The System Has Been Rigged, Now It's Time That We Get Rid
Of Everything That I Have Been Harmful To The Truth
So Say Goodbye To The Fake News Outlets, Adiós To Those Who Doubted
Sayonara To The Green Card Scammers, Au Revoir To The Foreign Landers
Chop The Head Off Of Bernie Sanders, Aoc And Biden's Handlers
No More Us As We Know It, No More News Or Whistle Blowing
Goodbye Years Of Rigged Elections, Goodbye Human Rights Protections
Goodbye Anyone Who Questions Golden Statues I've Erected
Billionaires Will All Be Smitten, All The While I'll Just Be Sittin'
Back To Reaping All The Profit And Silence Those Who Try To Stop It
Outro
If I Was Gonna Stage A Coup To Show The World How Great I Am
These Are The Things That I Would Do, My 2028 Election Plan
