Intro
Intro
The Calendar Flipped, The Leaves Turned To Brown,
And Suddenly Santa Came To Town.
But Before The Goodwill, The Carols, The Cheer,
There's A List Full Of Names, And A Wallet Full Of Fear.
Every Cousin, Every Neighbor, Every Friend,
When Does The Obligation Ever End?
Searching For That Perfect Thing, The One I Know They'll Prize,
But I've Got Two Weeks Left And Tears In My Eyes.
Verse 1
Is A Gift Card Lazy? Is A Handmade Gift Cheap?
I Just Want To Buy Them Something They Can Keep.
But The Prices Are Climbing, The Sales Are All A Scam,
Just One More Item For The Credit Card Slam.
Pre-Chorus
It's The Most Stressful Time Of The Year,
When I Spend All My Money Just To Show I Care.
Paying The Santa Tax To The Holiday Debt,
'Cause I Still Haven't Finished, And I'm Not Ready Yet!
Oh, The Santa Tax, The Santa Tax,
Fighting All The Crowds Until My Spirit Cracks.
It's Just The Seasonal Fee For A Little Christmas Cheer,
A Costly Burden For The Ones We Hold So Dear.
Chorus
Parked Three Blocks Out By The Grocery Store Sign,
To Stand In A Returns Line That Wraps All The Way Behind.
Elbowing Strangers For The Last Video Game,
It's Not Goodwill Toward Men, It's A Frantic, Stressed-Out Game.
The Aisles Are A Mess, The Temperature's Too Hot,
I Just Want To Find The Sweater That They Said They Hadn't Got.
My Mind Is Overloaded, Decision-Making Fails,
I'm Blinded By The Sparkle Of The Ten-For-One Sales.
Verse 2
Is A Gift Card Lazy? Is A Handmade Gift Cheap?
I Just Want To Buy Them Something They Can Keep.
But The Prices Are Climbing, The Sales Are All A Scam,
Just One More Item For The Credit Card Slam.
Pre-Chorus
It's The Most Stressful Time Of The Year,
When I Spend All My Money Just To Show I Care.
Paying The Santa Tax To The Holiday Debt,
'Cause I Still Haven't Finished, And I'm Not Ready Yet!
Oh, The Santa Tax, The Santa Tax,
Fighting All The Crowds Until My Spirit Cracks.
It's Just The Seasonal Fee For A Little Christmas Cheer,
A Costly Burden For The Ones We Hold So Dear.
Bridge
I Ordered It Online With Only Six Days Left,
The Tracking Information Leaves Me Quite Bereft.
It Says "Processing, Delayed, Pending In A Far-Off Town,"
If It's Late For Christmas Morning, My Whole World Will Fall Down!
The Wrong Size, The Wrong Color, The Item That's Out Of Stock,
I Should Have Just Put Cash Right In A Simple Little Sock.
Final Chorus
It's The Most Stressful Time Of The Year,
When I Spend All My Money Just To Show I Care.
Paying The Santa Tax To The Holiday Debt,
'Cause I Still Haven't Finished, And I'm Not Ready Yet!
Oh, The Santa Tax, The Santa Tax,
Fighting All The Crowds Until My Spirit Cracks.
It's Just The Seasonal Fee For A Little Christmas Cheer,
A Costly Burden For The Ones We Hold So Dear.
