Verse 1
I Got An Old Buddy Called Dan, The Man, Spent Time In Iraq And Time In Japan
He’s Mean As Sin And Tough As Hell, If He’s Hungry He’d Eat Up The Liberty Bell
I’ll Tell You Friends, It’s Hard To Be Good. It’s A Feeling Too Easily Misunderstood
But Here’s Something Special ‘Bout Dan, The Man. He’s A Bad Mother-Sucker With A Gun In His Hands
Verse 2
Well, Jack Links Ain’t The Ones He Likes, Got His Boots Tied Tight And He’s Ready For A Fight
Slaughters Just Laughter With An “S”, And I Heard David Bowie Asks Dan How To Dress
Cuts Down Trees In A Single Swing. Could Use A Tractor Tire For A Wedding Ring
Smile Could Make A La Gal Swoon. Heard He Danced With The Devil And Still Picked The Tune
Chorus
Oh, Dan, Dan, Dan, The Man
Dan, Dan, We Know You Can
Dans Always Got The Plan
I Bet Ya Wish You Knew Ol’ Dan, The Man
Verse 3
Well, He Yelled In Venice When He Stubbed His Toe, Which Avalanched Salzburg With The Snow
And The Cops Called From The City Of Sin To Thank Dan For, Ya Know, For Not Yelling At Them
Once Loved A Rattlesnake For 13 Hours, Then Drove The Pacific In His Rusted Old Car
And They Named Him King When He Rolled In The Sand Of Beautiful, Tropical, East Thailand
Chorus
Oh, Dan, Dan, Dan, The Man
Dan, Dan, We Know You Can
Dans Always Got The Plan
I Bet Ya Wish You Knew Ol’ Dan, The Man
Verse 4
Well, He Took Highway 25 Through Albuquerque Just To Steal Some Poor Crackheads Jerky
Stopped In Mississippi Along The Way To Watch A Couple Of Grasshoppers Fiddlin' Away
Folded A Paper Airplane, Flew To Ohio, Where He And A Tattooed Cutie Got A Little Wild
But She Nearly Drowned Him In A Fountain For Pointing Out The Obvious Lack Of Mountains
Chorus
Oh, Dan, Dan, Dan, The Man
Dan, Dan, We Know You Can
Dans Always Got The Plan
I Bet Ya Wish You Knew Ol’ Dan, The Man
Verse 5
Well, One Time He Even Swam To The Moon With The Backstroke Only So He Didn’t Land Too Soon
Brushes His Teeth With Porcupine Quills And Has Gator Tongues For His Window Sills
Drinks Nitric Acid Straight From The Tap, Once Drove Through Nepal With Kate Upton On His Lap
Stopped For Lunch In Alcapoco, And Asked The Waitress ‘Cómo Llego Idaho”
Chorus
Oh, Dan, Dan, Dan, The Man
Dan, Dan, We Know You Can
Dans Always Got The Plan
I Bet Ya Wish You Knew Ol’ Dan, The Man
Tag
Oh, Dan, Dan, Dan, The Man
Dan, Dan, We Know You Can
Dans Always Got The Plan
I’m Glad That I Know Dan, The Man
