Dating Tips

Type: Single
Date: 2004

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Dating Tips

Intro
Eb    Eb/Ab      Eb/G    Eb
Eb    Eb/Ab
Gm7People Often Ask Me - "Godforbid", They Say
                              N.c.
"You're Quite The Ladies Man, What's Your Secret?" (Heh Heh Heh...)
Well...

Chorus
G       AmYou Too Can Be CSwimming In Women!
D6AfloatD In GSeas Of OvaAmries, But More CImportantly D6-
DKnowing Whether GBehind Those Pretty AmEyes You Have A CDiamond In The Rough (OD6oh!)
DOr Colored GContact Lenses And A AmRough !%&@$* *$#%!@ CNamed Diamond   D6      D​

Verse 1
Let's GRecreate The ScAmene, Make Believe You're CAt A Table Seat D6Talking DPlayfullyG To The WaitAmress
At Your CLocal Place To Eat
D6Way Beneath ThDe Apron, MaybeGlline, Smell Of EggAms And Cheese, Bacon CGrease, She's A D6Babe - An D8 At Least
GYou Want To Push The PAmlate Of Quesadillas COff The Table And D6Spread Them DAngel's Wings
GBut You Can't AmSay A Thing? (Hmm?)
C     If You Don't Do D6Well With DWomen, They Sell PreGscription Drugs On AmTelevision
May CCause Loss Of AD6ppetite, DMalnuGtrition; Dizzy AmSpells And Different CBells Were Ringing
D6And That's Where DI Come GIn And Give 'Em A Little AmExtra Help To Gem 'CEm! (Hey!D6)     D​

Chorus
(You Can't GGet) You See, Confidence AmIs The Key When Entering CAny Situation    D6      D​
(In Her GPants) We All Have InseAmcurities, So Why CNot Build Your D6Confidence DOn The
Insecurities Of Others?
(But You GDon't)   Am        CHey, She's Gonna D6!&*%$@ DSomebody
(Give A GDamn) So AmWhy Not CYou?   D6      D​

Verse 2
GThe Drunker You Are, The AmEasier It Is To Get CLaid, But The D6Harder It DIs To @$&@$*
GYou May Have To AmPicture What It CIs This Month
D6Whoever You've DBeen Thinking Of - GThe Girl At The AmPizza Hut, Midgets, CNuns,
Whatever D6Little Miss DIt Was
And GWith A Little Hard Work, AmA Little Luck, If You CHaven't Given Up,
Maybe D6You Can GetD It Up!
GNow A !$@% Is AmSupposed To Be Fun - CInstant GratifiD6cation, A DRollercoaster
GBut No One Wants To AmGet Stuck Over And COver Going D6Home To The DRollercoaster
G   It's Hard To AmWatch Your CShows And Do Your D6Homework
DAnd When GThe Ride You Rode Is AmOver, It'll Cost CMore Than A D6Roll Of DQuarters

Chorus
(You Can't GGet) So Pull Out Am-      I CKnow How Warm And D6Good It DFeels,
(In Her GPants) But It's Getting AmCrowded 'Round Here - CPlease, D6Pull DOut
(But You GDon't) If It's Not The AmOne You Want To Stay With,C You Can Avoid The
D6Face    D​
(Give A GDamn) But Not The Abbreviation Taking AmPayments From Your CPaycheck
You Can Do It, D6Pull Out  D​

Verse 3
GMen Have What I AmCall A Columbus CComplex
Other D6People May Have DBeen ThereG, But We Still Want To AmFeel Like We DisCcovered It
D6So Don't Tell DThe Number That You GDone It With Your AmSummers In Columbia CWhen You
Were Young And D6Did A Bunch Of DDumber @$*!
G   Rambunctious AmKids, Wait For The CSecond Date To D6Cuff The DWrists
GSponges, Rubber AmGloves, And Whips,C Oven Mitts
D6Now, A Well DTrimmed PerGsonal Area - That's AmNice, But Why's CShe So Ready?
D6You Don't SuDppose That GShe Never Knows AmWhen She Might CShow Somebody?
D6Now ThinkD Of That BeGfore You Go AmSteady Or Maybe CAt Your Own D6Wedding   D​

Chorus
(You Can't GGet) If She's Your Girlfriend, AmLeave Her Alone With Your CFriends    D6      D​
(In Her GPants) Now, I Don't Expect No Virgin, But Let 'Em AmTry To Screw Her
If She's CFlirting Or She D6@$%*&! @#D!%&*, Then It Won't Work Man
(But You GDon't) Get Rid Of Her And AmGet Yourself A CNew Girlfriend     D6      D​
(Give A GDamn) Remember The Currency Exchange Rate -
AmAt This Party She's An C8, At The Club D6A 7   D​
At GMy Apartment A 10; AmEnviroment DiCctates
The D6Morning After, DShe May GSlip To A 3
Am'Cause Some Things Are CBetter Just To D6Lust FDor

Outro
(This ConGcludes The Introductory AmSegment Of The GodforCbid Self-Help ColleD6ction)D​
Hey, GSleep With Other RacesAm! Help Out CInternational ReD6lationDs!
(GFor Further Behavioural AmInstructions, Consult CThe Nearest Strip Club D6And/Or DLiquor Store;
G  Thank YouAm, And Enjoy CYourself)  D6      D​
GIf It's Not The AmOne You Want, CJust Let It D6Go    D​
GIf It's Not The AmOne You Want, CJust Let It D6Go    D​
GIf It's Not The AmOne You Want, CJust Let It D6Go    D​
GIf It's Not The AmOne You Want, CJust Let It D6Go... D​